This is the last article in a series that tackles one of the toughest issues that parents of LGBTQ+ children often face: how to establish open communication. In part three the author highlights the importance of consistency and shares why parents should seek out LGBTQ+ media.
Get in the habit of checking in
Make it a habit to touch base with your child. Try to be consistent. It’s important to routinely check in with them to talk about what kind of support they need. You might try bringing up a show you’ve seen or a book you’ve read that has to do with LGBTQ+ issues or other relevant topics. Connecting doesn’t need to be formal and may even develop into an activity you both enjoy and look forward to. It’s a designated time for you and your child to come together and openly share. Your child may or may not choose to engage with you, and that’s okay. If you notice that their lack of participation brings up some strong emotions for you, I encourage you to meditate on those feelings. Try to figure out if they have a deeper meaning.
As you continue to practice and adapt your communication style, remember that you’ll probably make some mistakes along the way. You may even make the same mistake more than once, but don’t be too hard on yourself. No one gets it right all the time and it’s important to take responsibility for them when they do. Reflect on the intention as well as the impact of that mistake, and consider acknowledging and apologizing to your child.
Read, Watch, Listen to LGBTQ+ Media
Get familiar with LGBTQ+ media. You can watch TV shows or movies, read books about LGBTQ+ characters or by LGBTQ+ writers, and listen to LGBTQ+ podcasts or artists. Integrating more LGBTQ+ media into your life can help you gain understanding about the experiences of LGBTQ+ folks.
A few LGBTQ+ media options are listed below.
(This list contains diverse TV shows, books, and podcasts that may cover sensitive topics. Please review the content before sharing with audiences under 18.)
TV
Always Jane (Amazon Prime): https://www.amazon.com/Always-Jane/dp/B09JHGS3B2
Our Flag Means Death (HBO): https://www.hbomax.com/series/urn:hbo:series:GYf3LzwJV98JifQEAAAAO
Heartstopper (Netflix): https://www.netflix.com/title/81059939
Steven Universe (Hulu): https://www.hulu.com/series/steven-universe-73e1e605-f760-470c-9a58-0148abe73270
Dead End: Paranormal Park (Netflix): https://www.netflix.com/title/80994692
Books:
Genderqueer: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Gender-Queer-A-Memoir/Maia-Kobabe/9 781549304002
We have always been here by Samra Habib: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/565780/we-have-always-been-here-by-samra-habib/
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/felix-ever-after-kacen-callender?variant=32280909578274
All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374312718/allboysarentblue
The Natural Mother of the Child: A Memoir of Nonbinary Parenthood by Krys Malcolm Belc: https://www.counterpointpress.com/dd-product/the-natural-mother-of-the-child/
Rainbow: A First Book of Pride by Michael Genhart: https://www.maginationpressfamily.org/mindfulness-kids-teens/rainbow-a-first-book-of-pride/
This Day in June by Gayle Pitman: https://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/441B151
Podcasts:
Las Culturists: https://www.stitcher.com/show/las-culturistas
Getting Curious: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/getting-curious-with-jonathan-van-ness/id1068563276
Queery: https://www.stitcher.com/show/queery-with-cameron-esposito
Making Gay History | LGBTQ Oral Histories from the Archive: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-gay-history-lgbtq-oral-histories-from-the-archive/id1162447122
Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/just-breathe-parenting-your-lgbtq-teen/id1486711596
Outspoken Voices – a Podcast for LGBTQ+ Families: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/outspoken-voices-a-podcast-for-lgbtq-families/id1209809304?mt=2
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We hope this series on communicating with your child has provided you with some insight on why it’s so important as well as tools to make it happen in your own life.
Blog can also be found on Strong Family Alliance